4 So Joshua called together the twelve men he had appointed from the Israelites, one from each tribe, 5 and said to them, “Go over before the ark of the Lord your God into the middle of the Jordan. Each of you is to take up a stone on his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the Israelites, 6 to serve as a sign among you. In the future, when your children ask you, ‘What do these stones mean?’ 7 tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord. When it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever.”
He knew that, as humans, we are prone to forget the amazing things God does for us...and he wanted to be sure that didn't happen. So imagine how I felt, sitting there with a stone in one hand and a sharpie in the other, with nothing coming to mind. I couldn't think of an "only God" moment from the past year. I could think of a million things I was hoping for or things I was waiting for answers on, but not a single moment that I could say "Thank you God. Only YOU could've pulled that off." Realistically, I'm sure I have had moments. But we tend to only see what we are focused on...and I have not been focused on God. I've been focused on what I was DOING for God, relationships, career opportunities, possible relocation...everything but Him. When stressful or hurtful things have happened, rather than turn to God, I complained outwardly to friends and sought their opinions. And while I have amazing friends who do offer Godly advice, I never once turned to the One who knows the answers to the questions I was asking.
It consistently amazes my how often our minds and hearts don't line up. Maybe that's why the bible warns us not to listen to our hearts:
The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?
I cognitively recognize that God is near me, but emotionally it's hard to reconcile. My heart is telling me that I am empty and far from God...and I have a blank stone sitting here, reinforcing that feeling. So here's what's going to happen: THIS is my "only God" moment. Only He could have made me so painfully aware of my lack of trust in Him. It's ironic, because the verse I had chosen to focus on this year was Proverbs 3:5:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding"
I have been leaning on my own understanding (or lack thereof) for FAR too long. Only God could have made me aware of that. Only God can bring me through that.
What is your only God moment? Is it something you're celebrating? Or, like me, have you been leaning on yourself far too much?