I've had a very emotional day. I found out some news that really hurt me. What hurt even more was the way I found it out. It's hard to explain everything about it, but God has shown me a hard truth....I have thought I was better then I really am. That's not a rip on me or my abilities....it's a comment on how I view myself. I have not been honest in my evaluation of myself.
There is an opportunity that I have been longing for and looking forward to. I have complete faith in God that this is an opportunity I will receive...I'm just not sure when. I thought I was ready for this opportunity, but if I'm honest with myself, I don't really think I am at this exact moment...and that was reinforced for me today....both through the news I received, and through today's reading that my daily bible reading plan on attitude provided for me:
"Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don't think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us." ~Romans 12:3
I wish I had read this this morning. I might not have become so emotional. I also read a verse in Luke that spoke to me:
"Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and He will give you everything you need." ~Luke 12:31
I feel like that feeds into the first verse....if I'm entirely honest with myself, I am not seeking God's kingdome above all else. I justify my actions because I'm still seeking it....just not as much as the other things I'm seeking.
It's sobering when we are taught lessons. Especially when those lessons involve things we care deeply for...the trouble arises when we begin to care more for those things then we care for seeking God.
So today begins yet another renewal of my faith and purpose...to passionately pursue Christ and His kingdom. Only then may I be used by Him as completely as possible.
