There is one thing that the entire human race has in common: we are all relational. Whether it is a friendship, a family member, or a significant other, we all have relationships that we value and invest in.
Can I be honest though? There are a lot of times I screw it up.
I decide to just “suck it up” when someone says or does something that hurts me. Other times I’ve made one person so important in my life I can’t seem to function without them. And then there are the times I put on an act to make sure I “mesh” with the people I’m hanging out with.
Any way you look at it, these are mistakes. And I’m guessing I’m not the only one who has made them. Lately I’ve been wondering if there’s a way to move through life and minimize the damage caused by these pitfalls? I believe there is.
First, we need to realize that healthy relationships require communication. Let’s be honest. No one likes confrontation. But when it comes to those we care about, sometimes it is required. It may be hard to tell a loved one that they have upset or hurt you, but it’s necessary to move forward. Refusing to discuss issues is a one way ticket to an imploding relationship.
Second, realize that healthy relationships are balanced. Every relationship goes through different seasons. Sometimes you need your friend’s support more, and other times they need yours. If you find yourself constantly giving and never receiving, or constantly taking and never giving, it may be time to re-evaluate the importance of that relationship.
The second part of a balanced relationship is ensuring that you don’t revolve your life around one person. Sometimes it is that “best friend” that we can do absolutely nothing without; most often, it’s a potential love interest or significant other. We need to remember that part of what makes meaningful relationships fulfilling and fun is that it involves two separate people…not two people who cannot separate from each other.
Healthy relationships also mirror Christ’s love. These are ones where both people can be totally honest with each other without fear of rejection. We should not need to “perform” to be accepted by those we love. That doesn’t mean that you always agree on everything, but it does mean you accept and love each other for who you are, not how you act or what you offer. If you feel like you need to behave or act a certain way around particular people, it might be time to re-think those relationships.
Finally, the healthiest relationships are centered on Christ. I’m going to make you work for this one…check out Ecclesiastes 4:12. Read it. Think about it. Tell me what it means to you. It’s been pivotal for me.
God created us to be relational and wants us to have fulfilling relationships. We’re never going to get it perfect…we’re human. But I believe that if we keep these principles in mind, our relationships will flourish like we’ve never seen before.
What’s one area you need to strengthen when it comes to your relationships?
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