I say I want to write a novel, but I can't even commit to blogging every day, lol....we're going to give it (yet!) another go though!
The problem is, even though I have tons of things I think about and want to say, sometimes I lack the motivation to follow through. I've been struggling with this for awhile. I have SO much that I want to do, and if I'm totally honest with myself, I have time to do it all. The problem is I get lazy. I go home and tell myself I've had a long day and I deserve to sit and play XBox for a little bit, but I end up sitting there for hours! The books I want to read, the walks I want to take, the movies I want to watch...they all sit, collecting dust. Sometimes it's not XBox. Sometimes it's going out/over to a friend's house. I wind up gone all day, only to come home to a house that has been waiting expectantly for it's occupant to LIVE in it.
This past week I have been trying to spend more time at home...and not playing video games. I have truly learned the value of time spent by yourself and being comfortable with yourself over the last 2 years. I am trying to rekindle interests and passions that I let fall to the wayside during my "dark years" as I like to call them. I have reunited with my love of reading....I can't tell you how many books I've read over the last 2 years OR the percentage comparison of how many books I had read the previous 6 years before that. A group of friends and I have even formed a book club to discuss the books that we read, since we all seem to have common interests. I've always been one to take a fiction book as just that...a good story. But this book club has encouraged me to not only enjoy the story, but look past it and see what the message behind the words is trying to convey.
That's just one of many passions though....I love to cook and bake and have been dabbling with that a little bit as well, though not as much as I'd like. I used to love to write and draw as well. I partly blame that I no longer do these things on the fact that I have a job that is predominately left brain oriented....and I've never been a left brained girl :) So it's a bit of a stretch for me to not only be in this job, but to try and switch to the more artistic, creative person I am at my core.
In all of this turmoil of time versus passions versus requirements, I still make time for the most important relationship in my life, my relationship with Christ. Unfortunately, all too often, it falls by the wayside as well. I get caught up in the tasks and motions of doing ministry and sometimes forget the point of ministry. This is first in my pursuits. When I am hopelessly and completely in love with Christ, and He is the most important thing in my life, I find other things fall into place more easily. When difficulties arise, they aren't nearly as stressful as when I am far from Him.
I guess the whole point of today's blog is that I need to pursue Jesus more passionately and consistently then I have been. I need to remember that the point of ministry is not accomplishing tasks or programs. The point of ministry is to be wholly in love with Christ and to show that love to others and help them to become completely in love with Him as well. My first thought in the morning should be of Him, and my last thought before I lay my head on my pillow should be of Him. The more I love Him, the more I will become like Him. I feel like as that happens, I will become more the person He created me to be...which means I will more easily make time for those interests/passions that I miss so dearly.
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