I'm having some tough thoughts right now...thoughts about where my life's at, where it's going, where I want it to be going, where God wants it to be going. I'm not going to lie, they're scary thoughts. They are definitely out of my comfort zone thoughts.
I'm learning that it's hard for me to trust...especially God. That sounds so stupid. If there is one being in this entire universe that I can trust, it's God. I have a hard time doing it though. I worry that these thought's I'm having and the subsequent feelings and emotions they invoke are not necessarily promptings from God, but errant thoughts on my part.
I'm obviously praying about these things. I don't think it's a coincidence that the issue has been brought up by not one, but two people very close to me. However, I worry that I am connecting dots that don't need to be connected.
I'm doing a study on obedience right now, but I added a study on trust. The first verse that popped up was Exodus 14:14 "The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm." I feel like I am the exact opposite of calm. I am worried and angsty and nervous and stressed.
I've made this sounds like it's some big, terrible thing looming on the horizon. In reality, it's something something that is very postitive. It's just scary to think about because like I said, it REALLY takes me out of my comfort zone. I feel like I've reached a crossroad...do I continue the path I've been on, or do I turn, and take the other? It wouldn't be easy...and I may completely fail....but if it's what God intends for me, I will succeed, no matter how difficult it is, because He is fighting for me. And if it's not what God intends, it was simply a learning opportunity.
Does anyone want to share a similar time in their life? When you were looking at two different paths? Did you know God was pointing you down one? Did you succeed, fail? I'm doing all that I can (praying, seeking wise counsel) but I'd still like to here other people's experiences. Plus, it'd be great if I ever got this blog interactive! :)
I left Toledo to go away for school and obviously came right back after one year. I new that I wanted to come back of course, but I also knew that my wants and God's want were not always the same. I think I felt complete confidence in my decision once I weeded out my reasonings that were not from faith (i.e. comfort zones, not wanting to face the questions of "why" from old friends, financial stability...that list goes on). I felt a peace of coming back, however I don't know if I was ever sure of "YES! I know exactly that this is what God is telling me!" So it was most definitely a nerve wrecking decision and looking back now (4 years later) I can honestly say that I did growing in Cincinnati that may have not happened had I stayed in Toledo. I think it all makes me come back to thinking of seasons we go through.
ReplyDeleteI can definitely think of a lot of faith reasons to make this choice, but there's also a lot of non-faith related reasons to NOT make the choice if you know what I mean...I think you're right about seasons of life too. The other thing that makes it a little easier to consider the "faith" choice is that, if this winds up being the wrong decision, God will still use it for good in my life somehow :)
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